Day 62: When Words Fail

I am so blocked right now it is not even funny. I can think of a bunch of things to write about but nothing I’m writing is very articulate or well put together.

I guess I just feel like words may not be enough right now. With everything going on in my life, I just can’t seem to find the right words to convey what I mean.

What do you do when words fail? Do you enjoy the silence? Let it heal you? Or do you borrow the words of others in poetry or literature? Do you seek other forms of communication like music or dance?

Please respond and let me know. I’d love to hear how you manage when words fail.

Sincerely,

Mare

Day 55: Shh

Do you every find yourself just sitting? Sitting still, not thinking, listening to a song on repeat because that is the absolute most you can handle? You physically cannot be burdened with picking another song to hear or letting another song come up on shuffle and risk it being something you’re in interested in listening to.

I’ve been having a rough couple of days. There are a lot of deadlines that need meeting, a lot of dates that need remembering, a lot of work that needs doing, and my least favorite, a lot of goodbyes that need saying.

With so much on my plate, I feel like my free time is best spent listening to “It’s Raining” by Inara George and trying to get my head to stop pounding.

Unfortunately, this means I’m no state to write anything of interest to you. I’m sure this post has already bored you out of your socks and I’m only a few sentences in. So with that, I’ll go ahead and end it. If I don’t write for a few days, this is why. If I do, then I’m feeling better. Let’s pray for the latter.

Sincerely,

Mare

Day 37: Strip Me

For some reason, I have put a lot of thought into what my walk up song would be if I were a professional baseball player. Now, I know it sounds weird but it’s really fun to think about it. And it actually requires some serious thought. What song would you pick to define yourself?

Out of all the songs that you’ve ever heard, which one embodies you. You as a player, you as a person, your character, your favorite memories. What one song can do this for you?

I always thought “Strip Me” by Natasha Bedingfield would be my song. It means a lot to me already but I would like to think it describes me too. I hope I can be someone to stand tall in the face of adversity, to take hits but never waver, to be the strong man in the storm. I want to be someone that is so secure in her character, that no matter what happens, I remain true to myself and my values. I’m only one voice in a million, but you ain’t taking that from me.

Sincerely,

Mare

P.S. If I couldn’t use “Strip Me,” the obvious second choice would be “Bootylicious.”

Day 27: What’s My Age Again?

I’m 19. That’s not old. Not by a long shot. I’m in the prime of my youth, here! However, my kids are 8 and 5 years old, so they’re significantly younger than me. Today, they made me feel old as dirt.

I turned on the radio on the drive back from the pool and “You Were Meant for Me” by Jewel came on. Jewel is my favorite. I have loved her since I was little and “Breaking My Heart” was the first song I knew all the words to. She’s a 90s classic. As I began belting out the words, I turned back and said to my girl, “You know, when I was your age, this was one of my favorite songs.” She said she had never heard of it, which for a 5 year old isn’t weird. It got worse when the next song came up.

The next song was “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson. I exclaimed that this too is a great song and my 8 year old asked, in all seriousness, “Is this Justin Timberlake?” IS THIS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE?! What in the world? Even though he’s 8 I cannot let this go. Michael Jackson died within his lifetime. When I was his age, I had a whole dance routine to “the Way You Make Me Feel.” I can’t fathom confusing Timberlake and Jackson. Even more so because this kid has been to a Justin Timberlake concert. Should he not know what he sounds like?

After I corrected this poor confused boy, he said, “Well do you even know Justin Timberlake?” Oh please, N’Sync was one of the first CDs I owned as a child. Do not question my long time relationship with this triple threat hottie.

In summation, today, I felt old.

Sincerely,

Mare